


The Final Frontier: Space Sexploration

by SherlockedTrekkie



Series: Ramblings of Dr McCoy [2]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: M/M, McCoy POV, more angry southern rambling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-04
Updated: 2015-03-04
Packaged: 2018-03-16 07:10:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3479033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SherlockedTrekkie/pseuds/SherlockedTrekkie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bones is officially sick and tired of walking in on Jim. Why does this keep happening?? And on the DAMN BRIDGE?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Final Frontier: Space Sexploration

**Author's Note:**

> This was written in about half an hour because I was angry about my floormate having exceptionally loud sex. Again...

Chief Medical Officer’s Personal Log, Stardate 2267.61. It has recently come to my attention that I need to learn to knock before entering rooms. Any and all rooms, apparently.

It first happened a few days ago, at Jim’s quarter’s. I couldn’t hear anything when I was standing outside his rooms, but as soon as the doors opened I got an earful of something I’d rather not repeat in polite company. Why he told me to come in is beyond me… oh wait… He… never mind. In any case, I now know better. Next time I’ll wait for him to manually open the door before keying my code into the access panel.

But then there was sickbay. Sickbay! That’s _my_ place! My sanctuary! So, of course, Jim had to get himself hurt fighting some humanoid lizard or whatever and was confined to sickbay for a few days. Lord knows why I ever thought that was a good idea.

It only took twelve hours before it happened. Twelve. Hours. I walked in on them in a… shall we say… compromising position. They both had their clothes on, but only just, I might add. All I could do was put on my best “doctor face,” as Jim is so fond of it, and chew out both the captain and Commander Spock as best I could. I’m sure this will happen again, but hopefully not for a while. In the meantime I should get Engineering to fix the audiovisual monitoring system between the beds and my office. (Note to self: make “[No Sex In Sickbay](http://sherlockedtrekkie.tumblr.com/post/114986053179/companion-sign-for-this-fic-middle-picture-from)” posters to put up around sickbay - or maybe leaflets for general distribution… I’ll discuss the idea with Chapel once I finish this log.)

Anyway, the worst occurrence of this insanity happened barely half an hour ago. On the bridge. The goddamn _bridge_. Jim should never have been put in control of creating weekly duty rosters. And isn’t there some Starfleet rule that says there have to be at least five crewmen on the bridge at all times? I have some news for you, Jim: two is not five. Especially when those two are you and your science officer boyfriend… You know how you’re always asking me why I’m on the bridge all the time? Well this is precisely why. You can’t be doing _that_ while you’re on duty! Not only does it break about half a dozen Starfleet fraternization rules, it’s also incredibly unsanitary. We don’t even have a janitorial staff! I know most captain’s chairs have built-in decontamination mechanisms, but everyone knows those are never 100% effective.

All I’m saying is keep it in your quarters! This goes for everyone aboard, but _especially you, Jim_. I know you’re listening to this and I’m sick of walking in on you two. Is a little decency too much to ask!? You’re a captain now. Act like it. McCoy out.


End file.
